But apparently that's not even the biggest problem facing the franchise. That honor would be reserved for interim Canadiens' coach Randy Cunneyworth, who's hiring generated controversy because he can't speak French. Tension over that issue may be taken to new heights today, when Canadiens fans (or at least groups claiming to represent them) are reportedly planning a pre-game protest outside of the Bell Centre.
But while the language-based outrage is getting all the attention, it's actually only one of several demonstrations planned for today by fans in Montreal. As it turns out, Canadiens fans are fed up and they're not going to take it anymore.
So forget about which language the coach is speaking. Here are some of the other issues that Montreal Canadiens fans are currently upset about.
- Whenever you call Montreal's 911 emergency line, the automated attendant doesn't get to "report a Boston Bruins body check" until like the third or fourth option.
- The team has refused to release details of team captain Brian Gionta's recent health issue beyond calling it a lower body injury, which on that guy doesn't really narrow it down.
- While it was nice to see them borrow our patented "stuff the ballot box to elect all your mediocre hometown players to the All-Star Game" move, foolish Senator fans forgot the part about including an unrestricted free agent for Brian Burke to overpay in the offseason.
- Scott Gomez continues to score goals at a slightly lower rate than other similarly paid players, such as Cam Ward.
- In addition to his lack of French, coach Cunneyworth often struggles to say even basic English phrases, such as "We played well tonight".
- By the third period of every home game, Youppi is inevitably staggering around waving an empty whiskey bottle and screaming at small children about how 1994 was supposed to be the Expos' year.
- Management now admits they recently gave a $23 million contract extension to Josh Gorges under the mistaken impression that they were actually paying for several players who were all named Josh Gorge.
- Even if you've only got one copy to make, Pierre Gauthier never lets you go ahead in line at the photocopier until he's finished making hundreds of copies of his resume.
- Carey Price is one of the absolute best goaltenders in the entire league and does not get enough respect from the wait a second did he just give up a goal in warmup? BOOOOOO!!!
- Every time we're sitting around reminiscing about all of the great divisional rivalries we've had over the years, some Sabres fan gets all pouty and then we have to pretend to include them too.
- In many Canadian provinces, even after a Habs fan has mentioned the team's 24 Stanley Cups it is still technically legal for a fan of another team to continue talking.
- Look, nobody's saying that the franchise has retired too many numbers, but it does get kind of confusing cheering for a team of 20 players who are all wearing #86.
- When Patrick Roy inevitably takes over as coach he'll be able to explain to the players exactly what it takes to win a Stanley Cup in Montreal in the modern era, which will be depressing because what it takes is for Patrick Roy to be your goaltender.
- Every time we think that we've at least wrapped up the title of "most hopeless Canadian NHL franchise", we catch the highlights of the latest Flames game and realize how far we still have to go.
John Cunniff John Garrison John LeClair Aaron Broten Abel, SidSid Abel
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